10 Tips for food freedom & body acceptance during the holidays

Hi friends,

The holiday season is upon us, and they bring with them a lot of baggage and anxiety, even though they also (usually, hopefully) bring a lot of joy. In particular, if you’ve ever struggled with your body image or relationship with food, the holidays can be a mine field of triggering comments, diet culture talk, and food-centered events.

So, rather than tell you more about what you already know (which is that social gatherings bring all the complications of other people’s relationships with their food and body, and how that impacts yours), I thought I’d give my top tips for staying grounded, making decisions that honor your body, and avoiding the diet mayhem.

1. Don’t skip meals to “save up” for the holiday meal. This is pure diet culture — the idea that a person should compensate in some way in order to “earn” their food later on. And you know what? It’s both a restrictive approach, and one that won’t help you eat intuitively at your meals. When you deprive your body in anticipation for a holiday meal. you are inherently saying you don’t trust it. And on top of that, you are setting yourself up for dysregulated eating that is inevitably followed by guilt and shame. Instead, nourish your body the whole day. Eat all your meals and snacks. Your body deserves consistent, adequate energy — always.

2. Focus on your own plate. Ah, the comparison trap. It’s particularly loud at large food gatherings. But in the midst of the chaos — no matter what aunt Sally or grandma or your siblings or mom or whoever are eating — remember that your body is your body. What someone else chooses to eat has no bearing on what you choose to eat. Your preferences, tastes, energy needs, and cravings are uniquely yours. Looking at what others are eating to validate or guide your own choices is yet another example of outsourcing your body’s inner wisdom. Instead, focus on what foods bring YOU joy. Eat the things that you love, not the things you think you “should” put on your plate.

3. Avoid body checking behaviors. This could be stepping on the scale, checking body parts in the mirror, or putting on certain clothes. It could also be seeking approval or compliments from other people. The more you self-objectify, the worse your body image becomes. Body checking also negatively impacts your self-worth and self-esteem. It can also mess with your foods choices and your mood. Stay grounded in how you feel, not how you look.

4. Stick to neutral language about food. Naming foods “good”, “bad”, “indulgent”, a “treat”, “clean”, or even “healthy” (I know, I can’t believe we live in a world where “healthy” has become a problem, but that’s diet culture for ya) will only moralize some foods while demonizing others. Creating this hierarchy of foods is what drives restriction and bingeing, and an overall disordered relationship with food. Instead, practice talking about food with neutral language. You’ll not only help your own mindset around the meal, but you’ll help others start to speak in the same way.

5. Identify when your inner critic shows up to the party. We’ve all got one. That critic that shows up just when we’re trying our best to honor what we truly want. So don’t get thrown off-course just because that voice shows up. Remember, you’ve been swimming int he diet culture sea your whole life, so it’s unreasonable to expect that those voices would just go away. This is social conditioning, after all, and it’s a product of all of your life experiences, family culture, friends, media, and so much more. So instead of getting overwhelmed by the negative thoughts and giving into them, be ready for them. When they show up, identify them. Call that shit out. And remind yourself you can do hard things. The presence of your inner critic does not mean you have to disrespect your body. Nope. You can hear the voice and still choose to take care of yourself, eat the foods you love, and deal with the discomfort that might come up as a result. In the end, the more you override those inner critic voices, the quieter they’ll become.

6. Wear comfortable clothing. SERIOUSLY. When did tight clothes ever make you feel good? And it can give you a false sense of fullness, or worse, actually make your digestive system upset. Comfy clothes. I repeat. Comfy clothes.

7. Set boundaries about diet talk and / or have an exit strategy for diet culture conversations. I highly recommend being as clear as possible about what you will and will not be a part of. You have every right to tell your family “I’m working on my relationship with food and my body, and hearing negative body talk or diet comments is really unhelpful and unhealthy for me”. And if they cross those boundaries, then by all means, excuse yourself. Something like: “well, that diet sounds miserable, but I’m going to go get a second helping for myself!” should do the trick :)

8. Remember that you are allowed to eat all foods any day of the year. This is a big one. While holiday meals are certainly special, I hope you can remember that these foods are available to you all year round. You can make stuffing and mashed potatoes whenever the hell you want. You can eat dessert every night. You can have macaroni and cheese, pies, sweet potato casseroles, and green beans any night of the year. What’s my point? My point is that there is a ton of hype around these meals, when in fact, food is always just food. When you give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you want all the time, these occasions become less emotionally charged.

9. Text a friend who understands. If you have someone else in your life who gets the anti-diet message, or is at least on board with trying to improve their relationship with food, reject diet culture BS, and work towards body acceptance, then support one another! Text them when you get annoyed or frustrated with the conversation. It can feel good to just get that release. I have clients send me brain-dumps like this all the time. It’s cathartic, and it’s helpful to have someone on the other end of that message who will validate you and understand.

10. Be present and savor the special moments, delicious food, and memories. When you’re too wrapped up in food and body image, you can miss out on so much. So even if it gets hard, come back to the present moment. Come back to what is happening around you. Come back to making memories, seeing loved ones, or enjoying whatever is is that you’re doing (big event or not!). Don’t let life pass by while diet culture steals precious time from you.

I hope these tips are helpful! Happy holidays, my friends!

xo

Abbie