Cycling on unknown roads: Embracing the unpredictable

Yesterday, after taking about 5 weeks off from workouts to heal a torn muscle in my ribs (an intercostal muscle, most likely due to our crazy puppies pulling on their leashes), Jeb and I threw our bikes in the car and drove north to ride on some open roads that we’d never been on before.

Riding in uncharted territory, not knowing if a big hill was around the corner or a massive pothole was up ahead, I was in a pure state of bliss. 

It got me thinking about how much I love unpredictability — in fact, I thrive off of it. Despite being what you would call “a creature of habit”, I am not motivated by the predictable. Rather, I dig deeper and feel more connected when I don’t know what lies ahead.

When I take myself back in time, this has been true my whole life. The moments where I don’t enjoy “surprises” are those in which I’ve developed habits and routines that serve my mental and emotional health. There is nothing wrong with not liking surprises. But that’s not the same thing as not enjoying the unknown.

Back when I trained (very seriously) as a runner, I wasn’t a fan of “out-and-back” runs. Why? Because I didn’t want to know exactly where I was on a route. I preferred a loop where I couldn’t use landmarks to know how far I had to go, and I could just take cues from my body instead. But more than just doing any loop, I absolutely loved training in cities and places I had never been before. It was such an experience for me — to just be out there, exploring, and not knowing what would come up ahead.

So yesterday, as we cruised through new towns and climbed hills I’d never been on before, I found a deeper connection to what I was doing. I felt a meditative response in my body. Because there was nothing I had to do, nothing I could do, to prepare for what was ahead — aside from continuing to pedal, staying present, and remaining open to whatever was thrown at me.

Adaptation without obsession.

This is something that helped distance me from my anxiety. Anxiety is inherently fueled by a desire to control the unknown, or obsess (fruitlessly) about the future. But what I’ve found is that there is so much peace in not knowing. And there is so much purpose in marching forward despite and because of that. We can spend time and energy spinning our wheels in “preparation” for what’s coming, or, if fear takes hold of us, we can succumb to taking the same path we always have so as to avoid the unknown.

But what if we let go of what we think preparation should look like? What if we instead engaged with where we are? …and believed that in and of itself, that engagement prepares us without burning us out — without preventing us from learning the most valuable lessons along the way.

We can do our best today and we will know more tomorrow. Maybe we will even know better tomorrow. But to keep traversing the same old roads, that takes the joy right out of the journey ❤️