Q & A: Traveling While recovering from disordered eating

This question on traveling while recovering from disordered eating comes from Erin:

PS: This is a photo of some delicious ice cream I had while traveling to Maine a few weeks ago, visiting family. It’s a total joy to be able to enjoy food on vacation without thinking about it — hold out for that day. It’s coming.

Hi Abbie,

Thank you for offering the question feature. I’ve wanted to send this via Instagram for some time, but knew it would be a lot to ask in a DM. My question is this: I’m recovering from what I now recognize has been a disordered relationship with food. It started innocently enough — trying to eat “healthier” — about 5 years ago. But over time, it became harder for me to just enjoy the moment when I was out to eat, or order something that sounded good rather than the thing that sounded “healthy”. I also found myself wrapping up my identity in my food choices. It got to the point where I was really avoiding most carbs, and feeling anxiety around eating outside of my “normal” routine. So you can imagine that with some travel plans looming, even though I’m starting to work on healing from this, my anxiety is really kicking into gear. This is a long-winded way of asking: What tips can you provide for someone who is recovering from disordered eating and trying to manage these hard emotions around traveling? Thank you so much for what you do!

-Erin

Hi Erin, thank you so much for this question. It’s so timely! I took a trip to Maine to see my family for the first time in a while, and it brought back a lot of my own memories around this. So, here is the good news about traveling during your recovery process: it’s forced exposure therapy. Exposing ourselves to the thing that scares us is the only way through. You have to go through the process of doing the scary thing in order to learn that you can handle it. And you’ll have to go through it many times before that truly sinks in. You can see travel as this looming, scary, threatening thing; OR, you can choose to see it as an experiment and an opportunity to make progress towards a more neutral (and eventually freeing) relationship with food. The more difficult news? It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be uncomfortable. So it’s helpful to prepare yourself for those feelings ahead of time. Because that way, when the feelings come, you knew they would, and instead of using disordered eating to cope with them, you can seize that opportunity and do the scary thing. 

Some practical tips for handling travel: 

First, determine the parts of your recovery that are non-negotiable. For example, if you’re working to increase your food intake, make sure you are communicative about your needs with other people, or that you bring snacks to make sure you have food available. Don’t be afraid to say: “I’m hungry and I need to get something to eat”. You’d be surprised at how many clients I have who feel embarrassed to say this — it’s because our culture has normalized just pushing through. But no, you need food! And it’s okay to voice that. Setting boundaries and expectations in this way will help to prevent you from getting triggered or falling into old behaviors.

Second, come prepared with a mantra or affirmation for when anxiety strikes. Something that will get you through a hard moment. Some examples: “I never have to earn my food”. “This is an opportunity to take another step forward in my recovery”. “Just because I think it, doesn’t make it true”. “I can only find out by trying”. “My body deserves respect”. "How I feel about myself has nothing to do with what I eat or don’t eat."

Use it as an opportunity to try new foods. Even for those people who don’t consider themselves in a “complicated” relationship with food, I can guarantee most everyone has come to believe that some foods are “good” and others are “bad”. This simply isn’t true. And labeling foods in this way is one way that diet culture has a sneaky hold on all of us. When you’re in a new place (on a trip, visiting friends, etc) can you try something new? Can you challenge yourself to order something off of a menu that you truly WANT and not what you think you “should” order? Being out of your routine and comfort zone is a great time to do this, because you’re already thrust into a new space with new options.

Finally, remember that it’s temporary. The trip will pass, and you’ll likely wish you could have enjoyed it more and thought about food and your body less. We waste so much time on those things that cause us to miss out on the experiences with the people we love. So remember that you’re there to be present, to engage with others, and to make some wonderful memories. I can guarantee you won’t regret enjoying yourself, but you’ll absolutely regret spending all your energy stressing out about food. 

I hope this helps. I’m sending you so much compassion, and wishing you a safe and fun trip! 

xx, Abbie